Joe had no idea how long they’d been walking through the forest. Walking? What he actually meant was stumbling through because even though the trees seemed to strangely move apart when Hel skipped through them, their gnarly roots seemed to try and trip him up whenever possible. He’d fallen over that many times that he was now considering crawling.
There was no telling what time it was down here in the underworld. There was no sun to mark the passing of the day, and no moon to show the passing of the night. Instead, there was a murky, unforgiving twilight that hung over them, a light that was completely useless for walking through a forest.
Joe’s stomach gave a long hard groan.
He hadn’t even considered how he would feed himself down here. In this…shit hole.
Yes. The further he stumbled, the more he realised this place was a shit hole. Not like his house (not home, for was the place he went to bed really a home?). No, that was a shit hole, shit hole. This dark, forbidding place was a shit hole because it stunk like a toilet that hadn’t been flushed for a month and the funny light seemed to be sucking the very life from him. His legs were burning, his eyes were burning, his lungs were burning and he felt like shit.
Joe thought that he probably used the word shit far too much but that word seemed to sum up so much of his life.
His stomach groaned again. So loud that it echoed through the trees. Or that’s how it felt to Joe.
Hel stopped stone still in front of him. Her hounds did the same. It was almost like they were connected on some telepathic level.
‘What was that?’ she whispered, slowly turning to face Joe.
Joe’s stomach roared again.
‘It’s me. Sorry,’ he said, with a small shrug.
‘Ahhhh,’ she said, as comprehension dawned on her. ‘You’re hungry?’
‘One of the problems of being alive, I suppose?’
‘Well, I wouldn’t class eating as being a problem,’ said Joe.
‘It kind of is down here,’ she replied.
‘Dead people don’t eat,’ said Joe, realising this could be a major problem. Was he going to die of hunger down here? Was he going to shrivel up like a prune, his body left to the creepy crawlies that probably lurked in the undergrowth?