‘Too skinny,’ she said, holding my arm in the air.
‘We can’t be too choosy,’ said Mr Crow, ‘he’s the only applicant we’ve had.’
‘He’s too skinny. He won’t be able to do the lifting,’ she replied.
‘I’m strong,’ I said.
‘You’ll be carrying dead weights, you need upper body strength for that.’
‘Corvina…’ said Mr Crow, with a slightly desperate edge to his voice.
‘What!?’ Snapped Mrs Crow.
‘We are a little short on time, and you’re not yourself at the moment, what with…you know,’ he said, with a flick of his head.
Mrs Crow snorted.
‘Although, having said that, he’s not, you know…,’ said Mr Crow, with another flick of his head. Joe was beginning to think he was having a fit.
‘He’s not what?’
‘No. I don’t or I wouldn’t be asking, would I?’ She placed her bony hands on her hips. ‘Well? Out with it!’
‘The Chosen One -‘
‘Of course, he’s not the Chosen One. How can he be when we buried the Chosen One two weeks ago?’
‘Corvina, darling, we’re out of options. We’re never going to find the perfect candidate, not when the Chosen One is indisposed of, are we? Beggars can’t be choosers, isn’t that the way the saying goes?’
‘Thanks,’ said Joe, unsure whether he should be offended or not.
‘And he’s the only applicant we’ve had…’
‘Doesn’t mean we have to accept any riff-raff off the street, does it?’
‘Wow,’ said Joe.
‘We’re running out of time. We’ve only got 33 days left and…’
Joe turned to leave. He’d had enough of this shit. He needed the money, yes, but not enough to deal with this crap. He heard Lola whining for him from outside. And yet, he needed to look out for her. He needed to leave the shithole that was home. He spun on his heels.
‘Give me a trial.’
‘A trial. One week, for free,’ said Joe, unsure of why he was saying he’d work for free, ‘and then, if you like what you see and you want to hire me, you can add the week’s wage onto my pay after -‘
‘But that’s not working for free then, is it?’
‘It is if I don’t get the job.’
Mrs Crow swept over to him, faster than a lady of her age should be able to. She pushed her rimmed glasses up to the top of her nose and stared at him for a few moments before spitting on her palm and holding her hand out for Joe to shake. ‘Deal,’ she said.
Joe cringed inside. There was no way he was going to spit on his hand too, that was just too disgusting. ‘Okay,’ he said, taking her hand. Her grip was unusually strong for such an old woman. ‘Deal.’
She let his hand fall.
‘Good. Although, I think we’ll start the trial tonight. Be back here at midnight -‘